Boys, it's all about boobs today

Our friends have just announced they're expecting a baby and we're thrilled for them (no names here as I don't know who they've told and don't want to steal their thunder...) so I thought I'd take the opportunity to give them an insight into the sheer glamour of what lies ahead by sharing a few marital exchanges from today.

This afternoon, as we sat in candlelight in front of the fire, having just returned from a brisk walk through the chilly English fog, an omninous rumble came from the environs of Dot's nappy. I decided to change her in front of the fire to keep her little botty warm (it's finally got cold this week here in Blighty, after the papers were warning of swallows still flying around and something hatching which should have stayed put till spring. Global warming...). "Can you grab me one of the new [Moltrex biodegradable, purchased at the Organic Farm Shop] nappies, love?" I shouted upstairs to the hubby. "Really - you like these?" he said, waving one as he came down the stairs. "I prefer the white [Nature boy and girl, also biodegradable] ones - they look cleaner and don't have those stupid cartoons on the front." "Yes, but the Moltrex ones are more flexible and they don't have that hard panel which digs into her tummy," I replied. "Fair enough," he shrugged, handing me the nappy before wandering off.

Even more scintillating was this morning's discussion of breast pads. Some background: I've been worrying for some time that the reasons I'm avoiding regular disposable nappies (chemicals next to baby's skin and possibly entering bloodstream, chemicals in production, chemicals and non-biodegradable products in landfill) should really also extend to the breast pads I'm using (boys, I know this is hard for you to read, but to avoid multiple daily wet t-shirt incidents of entirely the wrong kind, breast pads are a neccessary, if deeply unsexy, accessory to breastfeeding (at least they are if you have squirty boobs like me)). The final straw came when, earlier this week, mere moments before Dot latched on, I found a couple of grains of the super-absorbent material had somehow leaked out of the pad onto my boob. I brushed them away, but who knows how much of the stuff she might already have imbibed, plus this also made me wonder if there weren't chemicals from the pads just generally all over my chest which she'd been gobbling up every day for the last nearly four months (I can't think about this too much more or I'll drive myself mad with guilt). So when I spotted some eco-friendly alternatives in the Organic Farm Shop (Natracare - plant cellulose instead of plastic covers, no chlorine, no super absorbents made from petro-chemicals, biodegradable) I grabbed them. This morning I told the hubby I'd bought them and was deeply relieved about it. "Ah but will they work?" he said, knowingly. "Why wouldn't they?" asked the mother in law, who happenned to walk in at that moment. "Well, she got leaky boobs with lots of the ones she tried," the hubby told her. "She's only found one type that works." (He's right, but actually so far the Natracare ones (www.natracare.com) really aren't bad, and the peace of mind I've been feeling whenever I feed Dot is worth a little dampness. I'm sticking with them, as long as I can find a supplier back home).

So, daddy to be, see what you have to look forward to? Forget Vogue shoots, Manhattan real estate and West Village eateries; soon you'll be conversant in the finer points of eco-friendly nappies and chlorine-free breast pads.

And let me tell you, you'll never look back. Not even for a minute.